One of the questions many
people ask me, is why and how I chose to specialize in Psychiatry. During the
days of my training in MBBS, I did not have any interest in the field of
Psychiatry. But rather, I was averse to Psychiatry because I got the impression
from many spheres that this is a field for those who do not have any faith in
God and that psychiatrists are those who try to explain faith also as a mere
neurochemical phenomenon.
Anyway, the
Lord Jesus had to intervene supernaturally in my life on 20th April 2009
through a vision in order to guide me to this fascinating and marvelous field
of Psychiatry! (I need to add a sentence here that although there are genuine
visions and dreams from the Lord, I am skeptical about the so many so-called
visions and dreams many people testify, extending the boundaries of their
imagination as well as trying to make up some meaning from their meaningless
dreams).
On 2009 April
19th night I was taking casualty duty in one Aravind Hospital, Chavara, nearby
my native place. There were so many patients visiting casualty that time, that
I could have my dinner only at about 12: 30 am. And there were patients till
about 1: 15 am.
By about 1:
15 am, I came to the duty room very much tired physically, but afresh spiritually
because that afternoon I had just finished a two and a half days’ Life Revision
Seminar by Dr Kuruvilla Varkey from Christian Fellowship Hospital, Oddanchatram,
Tamil Nadu. Though I thought of going to the bed soon (because one cannot
predict when the next patient will come), I was prompted by the Lord to spend a
little more time with Him, conversing with Him and worshipping Him.
I was just
worshipping the Lord and delighting in His presence with my eyes closed. After
some time I was seeing a vision of multitude of poor, helpless, needy people,
sitting in darkness and pathetically crying out for help..... I saw two faces
more or less clearly: one that of a 60 – 70 year old man and another that of a
7 – 8 year old little girl. The Lord flooded my heart with compassion for all
of them, and I was convinced deeply in my heart that the Lord wanted to touch
them through me. Suddenly the thought of specializing in Psychiatry became very
much alive in my heart (because 12 hours ago, that is, around 1: 15 pm of April
19th afternoon, Dr. Kuruvilla Varkey had suggested to me the option
of specializing in Psychiatry, as I was speaking with him after the Life
Revision Seminar. But I had no interest in it when he told me about this option).
After I saw this vision, I was
telling the Lord: “Lord, if it is your will, I am willing to venture into
whatever field You choose for me. But You need to clarify to me the same,
because I do not want to drag a subject which I do not like all the rest of my
life”. Immediately I felt an inner urge to open the Bible which was lying near
me. I thought of turning the pages of the Bible to whatever portion the Lord was
prompting me to go. The page I opened from the Bible was starting with Isaiah
50: 2, which reads like: “Why was there no man when I came? When I called,
why was there none to answer?
...”. I understood that the Lord is indicating that He is calling me to something. The
subsequent part of verse 2 and verse 3 spoke of the Lord’s
almighty power. Verse 4 reads like this:
“The Lord God has
given Me the tongue of disciples,
that I may know how to sustain the
weary one with a word. He awakens Me morning by morning, He awakens My
ear to listen as a disciple”.
When I read the word ‘tongue’ in the 4th
verse, I was shocked, because it was just 12 hours ago that Dr Kuruvilla Varkey
was speaking to me about Christian Counselling.
The phrase “how to sustain the weary one with a word” confirmed to
me my calling to Psychiatry. And this is the best verse on true psychotherapy
(counselling) that I have found in the entire Bible.
Another interesting thing is that
even the rest of verse 4 about the Lord ‘awakening
me morning by morning, and awakening my ear to listen as a disciple’ was
literally fulfilled. It was the Lord Who literally woke me up morning by morning those few days as it was mentioned in that verse. Far
earlier than the alarm clock rang, the Lord Jesus amazingly woke me up from
sleep in the early mornings of three days before and one day after this vision;
that is, 17th, 18th, 19th and 20th
of April 2009. On some days, the Lord woke me up around 3 O’ clock and 5 O’
clock in the mornings although I had gone to bed very late in the preceding
nights. I was so fresh in my mind when I was woken up by the Lord, that even though I tried to sleep after waking up, I was not able to do so. I could spend
quality time with the Lord those mornings.
Even the subsequent portion of
Isaiah 50 was literally fulfilled. Verse 5 and 6 speaks about opposition, which
I initially faced from my parents because they initially did not like me
specializing in Psychiatry. Verse 7 to 9 speaks about the Lord helping me, which was fulfilled when the Lord Himself suddenly changed their minds to
support me about my new decision.
Verse 10 speaks about trusting in
the Lord in the midst of uncertainty, which was fulfilled when there was a
period of one month of uncertainty when there was no vacancy for Non PG seat in
the department of Psychiatry in CMC, Vellore, where Dr Kuruvilla Varkey
suggested me to join. Soon the uncertainty was over since the Lord Himself created a vacancy there when a doctor in the department chose to go for his
Sabbatical leave exactly at the ‘right’ time. Amazing are the Lord’s ways!
In the evening that followed the
night I had the vision, I phoned up my mentor and spiritual father, Br Geoji T Samuel, (who is the elder at Christian Fellowship Church, Kottayam – www.cfckottayam.org and Senior Editor at Malayala
Manorama newspaper). He told me: “Three times in the last one week I spoke
at three different occasions that ‘we need professional psychiatric help for
this’ when different people approached us for different problems. So, brother, please do the specialization, be competent in the field and come back. The
church needs your service. One more thing: usually when I hear testimonies about visions and dreams, I feel a bit skeptical. But when I heard about your
experience, I felt so free in my spirit.” These words encouraged, blessed
and strengthened me tremendously.
Eventually, by the Lord’s grace, I joined in CMC, Vellore as Non PG, cleared
the entrance exams and did my DPM and MD in Psychiatry! Every day from April 20th
2009 proves to me my calling into this field! I can honestly say before the
Lord Jesus that I enjoy being a Psychiatrist, being an instrument in the Lord’s
hands to perceive the depths of agony and anguish in many minds, and to bring a
healing touch from the Lord in those numerous lives…
I am a witness to many miraculous recoveries, healings and deliverances
(including demons being cast out! https://sandeeppsychiatry.blogspot.com/2018/03/casting-out-of-demon-in-psychiatry-opd.html) in my practice of Psychiatry.
The very next day of my
receiving the appointment order and joining in the Department of Psychiatry
in CMC, Vellore, on May 23rd, 2009, Saturday morning, the Lord
paraphrased John 15: 16 from my daily
Bible meditation, like this: “You did not choose Psychiatry, but I chose it for you and appointed you that you should
go and bear fruit, that your fruit may remain, that whatever you ask of the Father in My name, He may give to you”. Looking back I am seeing the fruit
that remains. And I am expecting all the more fruit in the days to come,
leaning on the Lord’s marvelous mercies and abundant
grace!
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